Well, a few weeks back I was watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and last week I watched some Casino Royale.
Only fitting that I lost a bunch of money at a fake-casino during a graduation party.
I’ve watched a lot of Daniel Craig lately and so I thought it’d be a great time to deliver on the James Bond piece I promised. Also, he’s recently made noise for turning down a whopping 100-million dollars to be Bond again, so all the rumors are flying.
Really quickly, just some news/updates.
-It’s my summertime so I am going to really get back onto the grind of writing columns and I’m actually trying to launch a podcast for SplashTag VERY soon (i.e. this week is my goal).
-I have an NBA mock draft that I’ll have around in a few days, and I’ll talk about some fake trades.
-There won’t be a Game 7 column but I will say I am very excited for this. I’m hoping to have a podcast to summarize the NBA season and talk about the good and the bad.
Without further ado, let’s discuss James Bond.
Well, I had this idea when Spectre came out – I had heard the “Daniel Craig wants out” and “They are eyeing Idris Elba in hopes to break the long-lasting tradition of white British men as Bond” rumors. So, in November, I had a fun little game – which NBA player would I want as a James Bond? I thought of John Wall, Rajon Rondo, Russell Westbrook, and if we’re going to keep having white men as Bond, hey how about Chandler Parsons?
But then I thought about my all-time favorite player. The man who ended up dropping 60 in his last NBA game. The man who is already on his business grind as an entrepreneur, filmmaker, producer… I thought, post-basketball, Kobe could still get his exercise in, cash huge checks, and still use his witty, tormented-sounding, angry sarcasm to be like Daniel Craig – cashing in huge checks using witty, tormented-sounding, angry sarcasm as James Bond. More importantly, Kobe, though y’all may think he’s “old” under basketball standards, he’s actually fairly “young” for an actor and the ripe age for James Bond. Daniel Craig was 38 when Casino Royale came out, compared to Kobe Bryant who is currently 37.
First off, he’s got the style. I mean the dude rocks good suits, watches, and has quite a sense of style (it’s not like I’m proposing Tim Duncan as James Bond…). Kobe was in a Call of Duty commercial, he’s been in commercials where he walks away from exploding buildings, and he’s already got the superstar and popularity that would draw huge audiences and he’d be growing his brand. Furthermore, he’s already in ads promoting blockbusters (except I’d prefer that they not be Ghostbusters). Yes, this idea of mine is bold, and I think I might be the only guy who backs it. He used to live in Italy, and I’m sure he could pull off a British accent. Can a man dream about him chasing around an MI6 enemy from Guantanamo or Kobe copping a Royal Flush in a casino, only to be attacked by a terrorist played by Paul Pierce? Wouldn’t it also be great for the studio to get an African-AMERICAN who was also multifaceted in that he could both act and hoop at a very high level? Hey I mean they got Dave Bautista for Spectre, any shot they could cash in a check for one of the greatest NBA players ever?
I would pay so much money to see Kobe Bryant as James Bond. As I have these thoughts, I start to think about the logistics and why this is never happening. He’s 6 foot 6, so he would be towering over dudes unless you happened to hire other tall basketball players (Rajon Rondo, DeMarcus Cousins where y’all at?). He’s also the Black Mamba, so getting him under contract would cost an insane amount of money (then again, they did offer 100 million to Craig – that being said, he had done it for 4 movies and had been popular and shown he was a great James Bond). And speaking of Daniel Craig and doing a good job, why wouldn’t the studio hire an experienced actor or someone who at least was already in the acting industry? The Tom Hiddleston rumors are always flying, and he’d be a great choice. Idris and Tom Hardy too – Idris has the fan support, and I think Tom Hardy would do a great job. Personally, I think Renner is one of the premiere action stars that would be a great James Bond BUT, he’s under contract for many things and I doubt he wants to pick up another huge commitment (Hawkeye in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mission Impossible, Bourne spin-off). To give a dark-horse candidate, assuming they’ll stick with a British white male, why not Nicholas Hoult? He’s young, he’s charismatic, a great actor – he’s just gotta put on some weight if that’s going to happen.
Anyways, about Kobe Bryant as James Bond, despite all the roadblocks and the fact that this is probably not happening, it’s always been fun to imagine. Will Kobe ever be an actor? I can imagine him as a very witty but serious and intense one. Who should be the next James Bond? Would you watch a James Bond movie if Kobe Bryant were the star?
Thanks for reading and more content will be up soon.